My friends have different goals to me

Sometimes you want to cut down or change how much you use but your friends don’t.

Sometimes it’s the other way around – a mate is trying to quit but you are having fun. Whatever the situation, it can be really hard. Having friends and being social is a basic human need. It can be difficult when it seems you and your friends are on different paths or have different goals.

Well-meaning people can recommend avoiding or changing your friends when you are trying to make changes-easier said than done right! You might decide to steer clear of certain friends for a while if you are trying to avoid risky situations but on the other hand, you are probably being told it is important to have friends and other people who can help you and that you can help. No one should ever recommend you isolate yourself and become lonely just so you don’t use!

Friends can still be supportive even if they don’t share the same goals (how would you support a mate who wanted to cut down even if you didn’t) and sometimes making changes is a matter of developing additional friends and support networks rather than getting rid of old ones. 

Young people who make changes often make new friends through school or a course, work, rec activities/hobbies or by being involved in group programs.

Find it hard to say no to your friends? Try these one-liners from our article on tips for saying no to friends.