“They just don’t seem to see that they have a problem! I’m beside myself with worry and they just come home like everything’s normal.”
Disagreements about whether or not a young person has a drug or alcohol problem are all too common. While young people may seem to ‘play down’ or not even realise the risks they are taking, a family member may feel ‘kept in the dark’ and naturally imagine the worst.
Understanding and being realistic about risks is at the heart of moving towards a shared sense of what is OK and what is not.
Substance use is not always problematic. Like adults, many young people use alcohol and other drugs without it impacting their wellbeing. Some experimentation or social use can be part of the risk-taking and novelty-seeking of adolescence. Research suggests that for the vast majority of young people, substance use won’t ever become a problem that throws them off their life path.
This is even true of young people who might be taking big risks when using substances (such as weekend drinking) for a period of time.
It is also true that for a small minority of young people, drug use can escalate into a serious issue.
Frequent substance use can have a negative impact on a young person’s health and wellbeing. This could be physical health problems or issues with mental health. Substance use might prevent the young person from participating in relationships and daily activities they previously enjoyed.
Regardless of whether or not a young person feels their substance use is a problem, communicating with them is key to establishing how much of an impact their use is really having on their life. It is important to focus on and ask about what is going on in other areas of their life as substance use will always have a function.
It is helpful if a family member can avoid holding a polarised view like ‘all drugs are unsafe and will kill you’ and instead acknowledge that ‘many people use drugs and they are OK but some people get into trouble’. You will have a better chance of hearing where a young person is at and supporting them to get the help they need.
You might also be interested in our info on how to raise your concerns about drug use or why a young person might be using drugs or alcohol.
“They just don’t seem to see that they have a problem! I’m beside myself with worry and they just come home like everything’s normal.”
Get help now
YoDAA is a free and confidential online and phone service that offers supports to young people, families and professionals. You can contact 9am – 5pm Monday to Friday.
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